Sunday, 30 December 2012

The lost blogs of 2012


It's been a while.

I apologise.

All I can say is I've been... er... busy?

Yes. Busy.

Not busy writing THAT book. Or busy drinking posh coffee in fancy coffee shops. Or busy shopping. Or busy catching up with old friends. No, none of that busy. I've been the kind of busy where you can't really think of one thing you've been doing. But I know I have been busy. The bags under my eyes and my worn out soles tell me I have.

But I have thought about you often little blog, and your depleting and neglected followers and I feel I owe you something, some sort of explanation.

So here it is, in a nutshell... The blogs I never got round to writing in 2012  and the reasons why I didn't write them.

January -Life on Mars Twitter

I welcomed the New Year in with a new born baby. I started breast feeding again... and finally "got" Twitter. I had been on Twitter for years, but only by account name. I had never really been on it! You see Twitter, unlike Facebook, requires dedication, intelligence, maturity and a potty mouth. All of which I had time to muster whilst breastfeeding. I landed in a whole new Twitter world and felt very much at home.

February - Adenoids, Tonsils and Tantrums

I made the jump from two children to three quite comfortably as I had given birth to the best behaved* (*sleepiest) new-born known to mankind. His sleepy disposition was indeed vital for our family to survive Middle Son's adenoidectomy and tonsillectomy which took place mid-February. After the op, the ENT paediatrician said we were in for a week of hell. He was wrong. It was worse than hell. And it lasted 2 weeks.

March - From Sunshine to snow. A mother's survival guide

I can't remember March. Must have been busy! Oh I was, we had summer. It lasted 4 days. We were on the beach, we all got sand in our underwear, the baby turned mahogany and by the time I had unearthed last year's buckets and spades it had started to fucking snow!

April - Help! I look old!

I turned 32. I felt old. I looked old. I didn't want to blog.

MayWith Facebook comes great responsibility

In the cruelest way I became aware of how precious life is and how insensitive social networking sites can be. My relationship with facebook was tested to its peak. I was reminded how self-absorbed some Facebook "friends" are, and then remembered why they are not real friends. I cried for a family who had lost. I was very grateful for the health of my own.

June -What happens in the park stays in the park

Most of June was spent recovering from a nasty experience at the park. Whilst some woodcutters, and lots of health and safety folk (including a nurse) stood blocking the main path watching a tree get felled, me and my sister managed to let go of our buggies (with babies aboard) and watch horrified as they went solo down a very steep hill. It was a moment of madness, one we have no answers for and that has scarred us permanently. But fortunately the babies (and buggies) survived without a scratch and the random nurse, who apparently is a necessity at a felling, gave them a once over and confirmed this. Still it was, at the time, too traumatic to blog about.

July -   How to get over Wedding Blues - start planning your own!

July was filled with my brother's wedding - the event of the year! The occasion was utterly gorgeous and wonderfully consuming. From the planning, the excitement, the actual day and the severe case of Wedding Blues that followed. But I wouldn't have spent July any other way.

August -  Getting through customs with 4 Children and 2 Grandparents

I gave myself over to the Olympics and then went on holiday to Cornwall to recover. We all went. All 12 of us! Getting through customs with 4 children, 2 buggies, 2 babies, 2 slings, 2 Grandparents, 1 sleep machine, no concept of travelling light and a big fuck off to the hand luggage liquid allowance... Yeah that was fun.

September - Why sensible people stop at 2.

The baby started speed-crawling. I no longer had ANY free time. Oh I didn't have that any way, but now I had no blog time. No that was definitely gone. This was what having 3 Children was really like: busy!

October - Why are some woman just horrible?

October was spent mainly avoiding women I don't like. I mean I used to do this at work. That was tough. But then I was a teacher, I  was going to have to put up with bitching, whispers, immaturity and name calling. But that's just what staff rooms are  like these days! At least the kids were nice. But I have realised that those damn right nasty women are everywhere: on the school run, at play groups, in an office, standing at a bus top... That whispering, the false smile, the tilted head, the high pitched voice. You know what I mean. I am SO sick of walking into a room of women and facing that pathetic facade as they pretend they haven't been talking about you. Just lay off each other girls! Life can be unpleasant enough.

November Movember.

He grew a tash, raised a couple of hundred quid, looked terrible and didn't get a kiss for a whole month . "Silver linings" he said. But underneath my disgust at his ginger handlebars I was proud of him. He hates facial hair and he did it to help a tutor group in his house who were unmotivated about raising money for charity. So credit where it's due. He gave up the rights to kiss me to help others. That deserves a clap!

Even though their old fashioned moustache's look ridiculous with modern hair cuts, I think Movember is a good thing. I like Men coming together to raise awareness about Men's Health. I like the return of a Moustache, the statement, the solidarity. I just don't like how it feels on my lip. It's like kissing me dad! Ew!

December - Festive frolics no more...I am a Weightwatchers bore!

I joined weightwatchers. When usually I am planning for the indulgence of Christmas I spent December tracking, planning and weighing food. Believe me it's not as fun as I just made it sound. And My God is it all-consuming! Yes, it worked I lost a stone in 5 weeks, but the downside was how boring I became. I did advise people to stop following me on twitter, avoid me in the pub and under no circumstances phone me up, as there was a strong chance I could bore them into oblivion telling them about how many points there is a Jacob's cracker and exactly how I made the lovely zero point roasted vegetables  I ate for tea.

We were all relieved when Christmas arrived.. The baby turned 1 and started walking, We made it through with only mild illnesses (no hospitalisations so we are improving) and generally a good time was had by all! Success...  And yes I looked bloody good in my size 12 TopShop skinny jeans!

So That was that! 2012, the year I barely blogged.

And what are my resolutions for 2013?

1) To blog more
2) To write that book
3) To get married
4) To move into a bigger house

3 and 4 strictly rely on me doing 2 and not 1. So we'll see!

Anyway, thanks for everyone who has started following the blog, continued to pop by and read my musings and especially those who commented ( even the bridezillas - you too!) It's been a good year, but I promise more activity on here next year. At least one thing's for sure. I won't be preggers this year... No we've made sure that's not happening again!

Happy New Year! Bring it in with a bang!


  1. I love this post - and look forward to you blogging more next year!

  2. That was a brilliant and entertaining post! I can totally see why you haven't had time to blog and it doesn't really matter as at least you are living your life! I'm heading back to teaching after eight years away after Christmas so I will be able to relate to those women then I'm sure!

    1. ?Thank you Nicola. Good luckwith the return to teaching - I have huge admiration for you z

  3. Love the post! I know what you mean about Twitter!! And, about women in general!
    Here's to more blogging this year!